esmaspäev, 17. oktoober 2011

:

Now finally I came up with an idea I should start living already. Everything at the moment doesn´t seem to remind me any form of that word. I decided to go away from here, I´m not sure for how long, but I know I´ll return one day. I have my promises made and I won´t quit any kind of a promise that easily. And I don´t know where my path will lead me either, I´ll just take my few things and go away from Estonia. Probably I´ll go to somewhere I haven´t been before and where it´s warm right now.
It feels like when I don´t go now, I will never go and I´ll always keep waiting for my chance to live and I´m tired of it, to be honest. We´ll see where it all leads, but I´m more than sure it will be better than now, much better. Even more than much better. ^_^

Anyway, lately I´ve felt quite down, for no certain reasons. Things just seem to pull me down so easily, maybe I think too much. Even not over my stuff, but over other people´s stuff. It´s pretty bothersome to have this kind of personality. And yet I feel it´s never enough, no matter how hard I try. My closest people keep saying I´m no good at all and everything I do or create is full of shit. Though I know what I´m worth and very well, I still find myself depressed because of that. They manage to say all these things when I´m the most fragile, like hyenas seeking for their prey. Maybe it´s all my fault that things have gone so far. I don´t know, but I hope to find it out one day. ^_^




For the first two songs - thank you, Kaarel, for reminding me them. It´s always such a pleasure to listen something you´ve once forgotten somehow.
And the last song is one of my very own choice.


~Miyu.